But I Really, Reallllly Want It...

Recently I took Gavin to this gorgeous little park area to hear Hubby’s band and I was delighted to have all that space for the kid to run around. But five seconds into it and the little dude has uncovered some cord linked to a nearby light post. What the hell? It’s the same type of thing at home. If I bring out his blocks, books, cars and noisemakers to distract him while I clean, within minutes he’ll be unlocking the dishwasher and pulling out knives to “play with”. How does he have this sixth sense to find the one thing in a room that he’s not supposed to mess with? More so, since he has this sixth sense why doesn’t he use it to stay away from the hazardous things instead of being drawn to them?

The thing is, Mommy still has this habit too. And I’m guessing that when you see a sign that says “please use other door” you still instinctively see if that door will open. Same thing with a “wet paint” or “wet floor” sign. You just have to test it. This is why diets are such a struggle. The moment you tell yourself something is off limits, the craving becomes uncontrollable. Thanks to my metabolism I’ve never been much of a dieter… but let’s just say I have quite the attachment to Dr. Pepper. (I’m averaging only one a day which is incredible. Ok, two, dang it.)

Once I had this crazy unexpected attraction to a guy. A strong attraction. I was convinced that because what I felt was so strong, there was no way it could be one-sided. The two of us were like magnets, irrevocably drawn to one another. Turns out he was the magnet and I was just… a paperclip. One of many paperclips. And some of those other paperclips were much shinier. Ouch.

So now I’m still wondering: I was genuinely surprised by my sudden attraction to this guy, but was my attraction to him genuine? Or did I subconsciously figure out that I could never have him and thus my attraction was born? I really like to think that if the feelings had been mutual, that we would have had an enjoyable relationship, but maybe I would have been turned off the moment he said he liked me too. I guess I’ll never get to know.

Alas, I’ve still learned something. Yes, it is good to want what you have – a grateful heart will take you a long ways. But it’s also natural – and good – to want what you can’t have. Why? Because it’s that hunger that pushes you for a better life… it’s that drive that makes humanity evolve.

Once upon a time, if you were a woman you couldn’t have an education. Well look at me, I’ve got my very own blog – based upon my ability to read and write, and the encouragement I’ve been given my whole life to think and dream.

There are so many diseases and world problems that will not be solved in our lifetime, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t chase those cures and solutions. Because what we learn and do accomplish in our lifetime enables the next generation to go one step further until inevitably the world really is a better/healthier place. Look how far we’ve come, imagine how far we will go. It’s all because we continue to want something that we’re told we can’t have.