Using the Right Kind of Light

The dark can be scary and intimidating. Especially if you're alone. (Then again, maybe it's worse if you're NOT alone... I mean, who wants to be left in the dark with a serial killer??)

Anyway, if you're the one in the dark, it's a big relief for someone to shed some light. The thing is, depending on where you are and what you're doing, the type of light matters significantly. Sometimes plugging in a little night-light is the perfect solution. It brightens the room a bit so you don't have to worry so much about the unknown, but doesn't keep you from resting.

Sometimes a flashlight is the right tool - it lets you see your path without disturbing someone else. And if you feel the need to alert others of what you see, flip the light switch and illuminate the whole room.

Now, there are occasions that demand a spotlight, but those times are sparse - and it's almost NEVER  a good idea to throw a spotlight on someone who's been in the dark. It can be downright cruel. His/her eyes won't have time to adjust... a light so intense won't help him/her, but will only cause pain and panic.
(Really, think about it. What's the first thing a person does when a bright light is suddenly thrown on his face? CLOSES his eyes - now, who does that help? ... And how often does someone flinch when a candle is lit?)

The other thing about putting a spotlight on someone? It leaves YOU in the dark.

Yup, this is all a big metaphor. I like to assume you get it, but just for the record: Don't push so hard for someone else to see things the way you do. Even if you are doing it out of genuine concern... because if you DO sincerely care, you'll want to take the more effective approach. Usually that means "little by little" and not "a lot at once."

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room (John Mayer)

I don't care what you think of his voice or his personal life (as if you really even know him), you have to recognize how incredibly talented John Mayer is when it comes to writing lyrics. Here are some of my fave excerpts:

Pretty much the entire song for Slow Dancing in a Burning Room lol
   "It's not a silly little moment; it's not the storm before the calm. This is the deep and dying breath of the love we've been working on.
    "Can't seem to hold you like I want to so I can feel you in my arms. Nobody's gonna come and save you - we've pulled too many false alarms.
    "We're going down and you can see it too. We're going down and you know that we're doomed. My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room..."

OMG!! Is there a more beautiful way to say "Hey, babe, I know we still love each other but it's over."??

Heartbreak Warfare:
   "Drop his name. Push it in and twist the knife again. Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain."

That last part gets me every single time.

   "How come the only way to know how high you get me is to see how far I fall?"

Assassin:
   "I was a killer, was the best they'd ever seen. I'd steal your heart before you ever heard a thing. I'm an assassin and I had a job to do. Little did I know that girl was an assassin too."

Half of My Heart:
    "Your faith is strong but I can only fall short for so long. Down the road, later on, you'll hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart. But I can't stop loving you... with half of my heart.... Half of my heart has a right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart."


   "Half of my heart is the shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring. Half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything."

I Don't Trust Myself with Loving You:
   "If my past is any sign of your future, you should be warned before I let you inside."

Daughters:
   "Fathers, be good to your daughters; daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers, be good to your daughters too."

Why Georgia:
   "It might be a quarter-life crisis or just a stirring in my soul. Either way I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdict-less life.
   "So what, so I've got a smile on. It's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. Don't believe me when I say I've got it all down." 

No Such Thing:
   "They love to tell you to stay in the lines... I wanna scream at the top of my lungs I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. Just a lie you've got to rise above." 

The Heart of Life:
   "Pain throws your heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't all go the way it should... Fear is a friend who is misunderstood... but I know the heart of life is good."

Words for Peace

Why is my blog called Word Peace? Well, there is that obvious play off of "world peace" but more so it's because writing brings me peace.

Life is what it is - beautiful and fun and joyous... and painful and awkward and overwhelming. We all need some form of release, some method for dealing with the highs and lows. I've been guilty of using a less-than-desirable method* to cope, as most of us have, but writing is the one that has blanketed me with a calmness every time - helped me rest when it's oh, say, after midnight and I have to be up really early but sleep just won't come.

Of course, I've also used words to discourage peace, in all fairness. (Hey, I'm only human - have I mentioned that part yet?) I don't believe in "bad" words, but words can certainly be used as weapons, be used as hurtful reminders of someone's failures, be used to encourage heartache instead of comfort. Most of the time, I manage to save the nasty words for my private journal (in really big, bold, chilling handwriting... it's much more effective that way) but whether they are taking canon ball dives off of my tongue or escaping from my fingertips like a creepy fog, sometimes I just say/write exactly what I'm thinking. Oops.

*If you're waiting for me to inform you what exactly that "less-than-desirable method" is, you might as well move on. I'm not ready to be quite that honest. I just figured the intrigue would keep you reading... heh heh.

So what's the point of this post? Mostly, I just want to be able to go to sleep (and I opted for writing here instead elsewhere because it's been a lil while). But also, I hope when you are feeling restless or sad or overwhelmed, you'll choose the method that ultimately heals you instead of the one that ends up destroying you.

*yawn*

Why, Thanks!

I don't know why bad things happen to good people. However, in my current lifetime I have noticed something very interesting:
Yes, bad things happen to "good" people. But bad things also happen to "bad" people.
Good things happen to "good" people. And good things happen to "bad" people.

It makes me think of that Bible verse about it raining on both the just and the unjust.

Sometimes it seems like Karma totally works... and sometimes, if I'm honest, it seems like Karma feel asleep at the wheel. (Hahahahaha, get it? A wheel is a circle.. karma is the idea of what goes around comes around...hahahahaha. Hey, I found it verrrry clever.)

Anyways, the point I'm getting to is this - I could say that you should be thankful, because if you're thankful you'll set yourself up for more good things to happen to you. Truth is, I can't guarantee that. What I can say is that having a thankful heart will enable you to see how much good is already in your life and will keep you in good shape for noticing the good things that'll happen to you in the future. Likewise, if you're not thankful for what you already have, you'll be more inclined to pay the most attention to any negative things that happen to you in the future.

It goes along with that saying about money not buying happiness. After all, it's never about what you have, what your relationship is like, or what your health is. It's always about how you perceive yourself based on what you have, how you see your relationship, how you feel about your health. Ya know - perception is the ultimate reality, it's all relative, etc, etc, etc.
*Not to say it doesn't suck to be poor, lonely or sick - I'm just digging a little deeper than those surface symptoms.

Basically, I just don't think that gratitude is a magical formula that brings good stuff your way. I think gratitude is like a good pair of contacts or glasses that puts things in better focus.

Happy Thanksgiving. 

WHINE Hangover

Lately I'm sad to say that I'm living in a perpetual hangover. The dull headache, the heavy eyelids, the achy muscles, the sluggishness, the nausea, the edginess that makes you want to snap at anybody and everybody. The thing is, my "hangover" is not from alcohol but it has a whole lot to do with WHINE.

I don't know what is up, but my darling super-intelligent 22-month-old cannot seem to request anything without dragging out every syllable.

"Mooo-mmmm-yyy, Iiii waaaant moooore innn cuuuup pleeeeease."

"I waaaant tooo eeeeeat!"

"Noooooottt sleeeeeepy!" 

And my all-time fave: "Nnnnnn-nnnnn-ndy!!!" (Translation: CANDY) 

He recently learned the word "mine" just to top it off. 

These days he even sings his ABC's with a nasally on-the-verge-of-tears ear-throbbing sound.

Did I mention that everything he says is repeated over and over and over and over again and followed by a continuous whimpering even after I've fulfilled his request? He does mix it up every once in a while by adding a piercing cry or throwing himself on the floor in a sprawled out nobody-cares-about-me fashion. (And here I thought I wouldn't have to deal with that attitude until he's a teenager.)

I have to admit that as much as I loooooove him (and I absolutely do) the continuous wailing is really getting to me. It's like someone is constantly flicking my nerve endings with a guitar pick. No, it's not excruciating pain, but it sure gets annoying after a while. 

I gaze over at him now and he is sitting in the floor playing with miniature cars saying "Vrrroom, vrrooom, *sniffle, sniffle, whimper* vrrooom."

Sigh. Maybe he's in pain with the last of his teeth coming in. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's a part of his personality. Who knows, really? (If you DO know, please inform me so I may adjust the situation LOL.) Maybe the universe is trying to teach ME something.

Well, I can say that I've realized this much: Hangovers suck. But that doesn't keep me from drinking alcohol on occasion - because the good effects are worth the risk. (And I've learned how to generally avoid hangovers too hehehe.) 

Likewise, when I chose to be Gavin's mommy, I chose the annoying stuff right along with the good stuff. I'll never regret that choice, no matter how intense the symptoms may get - because being intoxicated with his love is worth every damn one of 'em.

                                                   (Forcing him into a picture with Mommy)

Bitter~Sweet

Halloween = Candy
Candy = Sweet
therefore:
Halloween = Suuh-weet

Absolutely. So what's the bitter part? It's all going by so fast. Seems like just last year I was painting my belly into a jack-o-lantern. Sigh...

Roses Are Not Automatically Romantic

I don't know many women who care much for roses, and yet most women I know love to receive flowers - preferably in public with plenty of witnesses.

So what does this mean? It means there is more to romance than what most people think. Romance is more than the cliche' of rose petals and wine, candles and tear-jerker movies. That doesn't mean it won't sometimes include things of that nature, but it's more about paying attention to the details of the object of your affection.

For example: A man could buy a half dozen red roses for his girl because they're generically associated with love. OR he could buy her daisies because on their first date they went to the fair and she got a daisy painted on her cheek.

Roses say "Hey, I love you and I was thinking about you." That's sweet.
(Granted, some men never even bother with buying roses. Jerks.)

But the daisies say, "Hey, I know you and I love you. I pay attention to this relationship because it means so much to me."

Of course, the daisies are just an example. Maybe the woman you love has a thing for orchids or tulips. Heck maybe she's allergic to flowers altogether but really loves Snickers -- the bite-size ones, mind you. So fill a flower vase full of those and drop them off at her workplace =)

Want more help in the area of sweeping a woman off her feet?
Visit me at
www.theRomanceTeacher.com